i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
