There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
