guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
