Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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