you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
