4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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