I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
