Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Two words: blizzard sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
