Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
