Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize