well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
