I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
