So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
