It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
