You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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