I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
