I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
