Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
