found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
