Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
