my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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