so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
