Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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