Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
