What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
