Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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