great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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