Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i think i have two assholes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
