my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
