I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
