You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!