i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Randomize