Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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