it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.