I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
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Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.