Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
