i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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