sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
