Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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