I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
