it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
