Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm at about main and main street
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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