I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
