i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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