i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
