I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
