There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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