I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize