please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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