I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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