Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize