Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
