You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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