It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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