Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
God I need to hump something, right now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
