thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
