Sponge bath it is.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
