she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
