i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
