it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize