Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We have so much sex to catch up on
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
