mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
