I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
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