hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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