I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i used baking grease as lip gloss
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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