the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
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The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize