Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize