He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
