he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
